Alucard-painting nails
by Jigoku Pie
Summary: Girls do odd things, Alucard knows this, but in the last few five hundred or so years, he's never really paid much attention. I suppose he should have really if he wanted to avoid this…


**I'm aware it's out of character-he's not this dumb and it just…wouldn't happen. But for purposes of this fic, it does =D. Hope you like!**

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"What are you doing?"

Seras's head snapped up and she squeaked, almost tipped over the little pink vile.

"Well, umm, nothing, actually."  
He cocked his head and the rest of his body floated through the wall. "But you are."

"No…no I'm not."

"I'm watching you. You're smothering your nails in a sticky, vile colour with an odour that matches."

She blinked at him for a few moments before looking down und wiggling her toes. "You really think it's a vile colour?" She mumbled, somewhat sadly.

He frowned at her tone and walked towards her. "Well." To her surprise he sat opposite her, cross legged on her large bed, his red coat spread around him. "I suppose it's not…_that_ vile."

She grinned.

"But it still smells."

Seras shrugged and continued. They sat like this for a few minutes, him watching curiously as she dapped dots of florescent pink onto her nails. He spoke making her jump again. "You went over the edge."

"Hu?"

He pointed at her small toe. "You missed."

She huffed at him. "No one's going to see, they're covered up all the time."

"Then why paint them at all."

She huffed again, shoving his knee with her foot. He smirked then suddenly reached for something in the bag next to Seras. She gasped, steadying the pink vile next to her.

He lent back grinning madly and Seras burst out laughing. "Red hu?"

"Why didn't you paint them this colour?" He unscrewed the lid of the nail varnish he had just picked up and lifted it, watching mesmerised as the red liquid dripped steadily from the brush. "It's far more…appealing."

"Well you can always paint _your_ nails."

His grin was gone and he stared. " Really?"

She stopped, confused. "Well, yeah, I guess."

He shoved the vile and his hand in her direction. "Paint them!"

"Hu?"

"I said paint."

"… ….Hu?"

He growled and she quickly unscrewed the lid. Then, giving him a quick glance, began to paint the no-life-king's nails.

"Have you ever seen people's nails painted before?" She queried.

He raised an eyebrow-clearly unimpressed. "When I tear men and women apart I don't look at their nails police girl."

She frowned. "Why would me…riiiight." She continued.

…

Integra's shoes made tapping sounds on the cobbles as she made her way towards Seras's room. She was intending to put a stop to Seras's refusal to drink blood, but as she neared the vampire's room she stopped, confused.

"For goodness sake hold still master!"

"You're taking forever police girl!"

"Fine, you bloody paint 'em!"

"Can't. I'm left handed."

"What? You've never said THAT before!"

There was snicker. "T'was obvious, devil child and all."

"Well in that case shut up and let me paint!"

Integra had had enough of this and charged in. She stopped. There was Alucard lying down on his stomach on Seras's bed, feet up in the air and waggling like a child's would. His hand was currently on the young nostalgia's lap and was being painted bright crimson.

"Al…Alucard?"

He turned and grinned at her. "Stop moving." Snapped Seras.

He ignored her. "Evening master." He waved his other hand at her, slender fingers made even longer with the blood red on their fingertips. "I can do yours the same if you want." He grinned.

Seras huffed, holding up a finger of her own, nail and finger smothered in red. "No he can't. His aim may be good but his nail-painting _sucks_."

He growled.

"Alucard?" His attention turned back to his master. "Your aware only little girls paint their nails…right?"

His foot waggling stopped abruptly as did Seras painting his nails, her own checks beginning to burn as bright as his nails.

"Pardon?" His voice was low.

"Men don't paint their nails." Integra continues, pushing her glasses further up her slender nose. "Unless my initial thoughts of you were correct that is."

He lunged, Seras squealed and suddenly he was pinning her to her bed, the contents of the red nail vanish now pouring steadily over her covers.

"How DARE you…wait what?" He turned to Integra. "Initial thoughts?"

She gave a small cough." Well I was young and your hair was long…it only made sense."

"Whaaa? You thought I was a…a…a girl!"

She snorted at his face and turned to leave, the original reason for her being there now forgotten.

There were growling sounds behind her and small incoherent squeaks. "But master! You pull it off _so _well!"

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**I'm aware guys can paint their nails to but for purposes of this fic I've said they don't! =D **


End file.
